Why schoolchildren don't want to learn Russian. Why children don't want to study

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Do your children always enjoy going to school? Or sometimes you still have to force them? A child’s reluctance to go to school can be caused by various reasons and be expressed in various forms. How to recognize that a student is experiencing learning difficulties, and how to help him cope with these difficulties? Let's talk about this today.

The main reasons and forms of refusal to study

Reluctance to study and attend school can be expressed in various forms. Of course, a child can directly tell his parents that he doesn’t want this, but, as a rule, only elementary school students do this, and even then not often. Most often, reluctance to learn can be recognized by the following signs:

1. The child is often sick. It is important here not to confuse the protest reaction with poor health. The fact that the student simply does not want to attend school will be indicated by frequent illnesses (for example, a headache, a stomach ache, the child constantly catches colds), which were not typical for him before; intensification of symptoms on school days and improvement in free time from school. It is important to take into account that the child is not pretending or inventing illnesses for himself - this is a peculiar reaction of his psyche and body to an undesirable situation.
2. The child has become withdrawn, depressed and uncommunicative or aggressive and hot-tempered. By doing something that he does not want to do at all, the student will produce emotional reactions that were previously unusual for him (for example, anger or withdrawal). He may blame his parents for forcing him to go to school, and against this background, begin to communicate with them inappropriately (swearing, being rude, etc.) or stop communicating altogether (getting off with monosyllabic answers, never starting a conversation first, etc. .). Teachers may also complain about such behavior.
3. The child is skipping classes. The student comes up with various reasons not to go to school, lies to parents and teachers, and systematically does not attend classes. As a rule, teachers inform parents about frequent absenteeism.

Here are the main reasons why a child may avoid studying:

• Problems with the teacher
• Problems with classmates
• Learning problems
• Boredom and lack of interest
• Lack of understanding of the need to learn
• Unpreparedness to study at school
• Fears

Problems with the teacher

It's no secret that school teachers often choose their most and least favorite students. This “dislike” of the teacher for the child, the presentation of inadequate demands or excessive criticism may determine the student’s reluctance to attend classes with such a teacher.

How to recognize

The child becomes withdrawn and avoids questions about classes with this teacher, outright refuses to go to lessons with him, scolds the teacher and speaks unflatteringly about him. You can detect the presence of a conflict in direct contact between the child and the teacher, which can be observed after classes, when you pick up the child, or at a general parent meeting.

What to do

In this case it is necessary:

1. Find out the cause of the conflict by talking with both the child and the teacher.
2. Discuss this conflict with the student. It is important to show him that the teacher is an authoritative figure whose opinion should be listened to.
3. Talk to the teacher. Ask him to be more loyal to the child, not to show excessive criticism, or to use a softer teaching style (depending on the cause of the conflict).
4. To find a compromise. It is important that all parties recognize the problem and want to resolve it. If you see that the problem is a teacher who does not want to meet you halfway, then it is best to change classes. If the teacher is ready to compromise, then it is important to convey to the child that they do not wish him harm, and with appropriate behavior on his part, the situation of conflict will disappear.

Problems with classmates

Very often, children do not want to attend school precisely because they cannot find a common language with classmates, become “outcasts” in the class, or have conflicts with one of the high school students.

How to recognize

A child with such problems will use all means to avoid going to school (lying, truanting, crying when forced, etc.), may become more withdrawn, be reluctant to answer any questions about school, avoid mentioning classmates/ high school students get sick often. At the same time, the student has no or very few friends at school.

What to do

Here it is important to find out the cause of the conflicts and discuss it directly with the child. In this situation, you can do the following:

1. Explain to the child that there is nothing offensive/scary in what is happening. This will help if the student feels different from others (for example, taller/shorter than everyone else); if the guys tease him; if relationships with some classmates just don’t work out. You can remember and talk about a similar situation in your school years and how you dealt with it; explain that it is impossible to communicate with everyone equally well, and this is completely natural.
2. Show your child how to stand up for themselves. Teach him to defend himself, not to be offended and to be able to ignore provocations.
3. Help the student believe in himself. Together with your child, find an area in which he can show his best side and show everyone what he is capable of. This will help raise self-esteem and gain respect from other guys.

Learning problems

School failures, lack of understanding of educational material, lagging behind their peers in some subjects are another common reason for reluctance to go to school.

How to recognize

Parents will be told about this by bad grades, an individual conversation with the teacher, and doing homework together with the child (this will help identify gaps). Primary school students may directly state that they do not want to go to school anymore because, for example, “everyone can read, but I can’t.”

What to do

To help solve this problem:

1. Additional classes with a teacher or tutor
2. Helping the child complete tasks, explaining the material
3. Transfer to another class (in extreme cases, when the child is far behind in the program and there is no way to quickly catch up)

Boredom and lack of interest

Sometimes the reason for reluctance to learn can be a completely different situation - the child has already mastered everything that is being taught to him well and is not interested. This is a typical situation for gifted children who are much ahead of their peers in development.

How to recognize

During classes, the student gets bored and does other things, so he may receive bad grades and comments for his behavior. At the same time, all the material comes easily to him - this can be seen if you try to solve some problem with him or ask him to explain something.

What to do

In this case you can:

1. Explain to the student that not all children are as gifted as him. Therefore, you need to be patient with this and help those who are lagging behind if necessary (the role of a teacher/assistant can captivate the child and create interest in school).
2. Ask the teacher to give the student more difficult tasks. For example, while the whole class is solving some standard algebra problem, the teacher gives your child an order of magnitude more difficult problem (an Olympiad problem, from a senior class program, etc.). Parents can use this same method at home.
3. Transfer to another class. If a child has successfully mastered the program of his class, then it is quite obvious that he can be transferred further. Talk about this with your teachers and school principal.

Lack of understanding of the need to learn

A child who does not see the point in attending classes every day will strive to avoid this with all his might.

How to recognize

The student skips classes, directly refuses to go to school and do homework, says that “all this is pointless,” “no one needs it,” “I’d rather go to work right away,” etc. At the same time, grades and behavior in class also suffer, and conflicts with teachers may arise.

What to do

In this case, it is very important to explain to the child that he needs school. For example, without it you cannot go to university, you cannot find an interesting or well-paid job, etc. You can tell younger schoolchildren that here they will study with him, give him knowledge and say interesting things, teach him things useful for life, etc.

Unpreparedness to study at school

This problem often occurs among first-graders who were sent to school too early. They are not yet psychologically prepared for this situation, so they do not feel the slightest desire to visit a place that is unfamiliar and uninteresting to them.

How to recognize

The child refuses to obey school requirements, behaves badly, plays in class, gets tired quickly, cannot sit still, outright refuses to go to school and asks to go back to kindergarten.

What to do

It is best to consult a psychologist in this situation. If he reveals that the child is not ready to study according to various criteria (psychological, intellectual, emotional readiness, etc.), then it is worth waiting another year. If the examination does not reveal this, then, most likely, the child simply does not have motivation and this is what needs to be worked on.

Fear of the new and unknown

It is typical for first-graders who find themselves in a completely new situation for them and do not quite understand how to behave in it.

How to recognize

The child asks not to be left alone at school, cries, openly talks about being afraid, is very withdrawn at school, does not communicate with anyone, is “downtrodden.”

What to do

In this case you should:

1. Explain to your child the meaning of learning
2. Show the attractive aspects of visiting school (for example, you will learn a lot of interesting things, make new friends, etc.)
3. Tell us how much time your child will spend at school and when exactly you will pick him up
4. Leaving openly, with a smile and without long goodbyes at the school door
5. Talk to the teacher, ask to help the child in the first stages (orientate himself in the school building, get used to the new situation, etc.)

Let's transform refusal into desire!

If your child does not want to go to school, this does not mean that he is lazy or poorly behaved. Most likely, this can easily be explained by one of the above reasons. And this can be dealt with if parents show maximum interest, attention, understanding and care.

14

Happy child 24.10.2017

Dear readers, our children started school in September, and now many are having difficulties - the child does not want to study. And this question cannot be left open, because the problem is growing like a snowball. How to properly explain to children the need for schooling? Why does a child not want to study, what is the real reason? And how can you help your son or daughter cope with this situation without slipping into edification and emotional abuse?

In our section, we offer some proven advice to parents whose child does not want to go to school. Choose what suits you and your family, try it, practice, and enjoy your studies! After all, school years are a wonderful time, and under no circumstances should they become torture for your children and yourself. I give the floor to the presenter of the column, Anna Kutyavina.

Hello, dear readers of Irina’s blog! Many of us remember school with warmth. Fun time, notebooks and textbooks, lessons and long-awaited vacations, friendly classmates, joint trips, excursions, Olympiads and exams. Now it seems that all this was just like two times two compared to the tasks that adult life sometimes poses to us. And it’s no longer as easy as before to get an A, and it’s absolutely impossible to retake a failed one.

Therefore, it is often incomprehensible and even annoying for us to face a situation when our child does not want to study at all. After all, you seem to invest a lot of time and effort into him, you try, but he still stands his ground: “I don’t want to study!” A feeling of guilt immediately arises - apparently he was raised poorly if he behaves this way. Or the desire to dramatically correct everything with the help of one’s own authority: “Now I’ll show you!”

But, alas, such methods will not help and will not give the desired result. After all, you first need to understand the reasons for refusing to study, and then decide what to do.

Let's understand the reasons

Why doesn't a child want to study? It is important to understand that the reason for this behavior depends largely on age. It’s one thing when a 6-year-old child doesn’t want to study, and quite another thing when a 10-year-old child doesn’t want to study. The motives will be completely different.

First, let's look at the main reasons for the reluctance of the youngest schoolchildren to learn. Assess the situation honestly and impartially and look for similar signs in your family. And then you can choose the appropriate solution to the problem.

Excessive control, overprotection and high expectations

Recently, this reason for a child’s reluctance to learn is very common. Mom and dad control every step of the baby, look after him, monitor every word and action. And they automatically take responsibility for their studies.

The child goes to first grade, then second and higher grades, and his mother does homework with him all the time. But in fact, for him. The mother herself collects her son or daughter’s briefcase and knows about all his school affairs. Because of such overprotection, the child himself stops thinking and doing things on his own. Sometimes he is even deprived of the right to vote: his mother said it was right, so it is so.

Why do parents behave this way? Of course, not out of a desire to harm the child. On the contrary, they want what is best, they are trying to help the fool, because for them he remains small. A separate point in the life of modern mothers and fathers is to do everything for their children, to provide them with the best.

There are also situations when mom or dad do not do the child’s homework themselves, but control his behavior in an orderly manner. They carefully check the lessons, sit the children down to do their homework under constant supervision and not at the time they want, but when they order. Moreover, they say what kind of big person they want the child to be in the future, how hard they try for this.

What does a child do when he comes under such care and control? Stops studying. He becomes uninterested and bored. Parents, in turn, increase pressure and begin to break the child’s will. He resists, conflicts and scandals begin. And since the situation arises due to school activities, hostility towards the school itself appears.

Difficulty communicating with peers

The second important reason for the reluctance to study and go to school in general is conflict with classmates. Perhaps the child is offended or teased at school, they don’t want to be friends with him, they don’t accept him into the company. Or he is too shy, does not know how to communicate and establish contacts with children. And because of this, he suffers and refuses to study.

Negative emotions associated with the regime

Sometimes children rebel against the need to maintain strict discipline: getting up early in the morning, sitting at their desk for a long time, doing their homework every day. And he wants, as before, to run and jump, to spend time playing.

Banal boredom

Often children who show good results in development and learning from early childhood come to school and begin to get bored. Parents are perplexed: why does the child not want to study? They dreamed so much about his outstanding future!

And the child goes to lessons under pressure, his academic performance suffers. And he continues to be lazy in doing boring assignments, especially those that he completed before school.

Difficult relationship with teacher

Alas, no one is immune from a situation where a teacher has favorites and outcasts. As a result, the child spends a lot of energy on this problem, but simply does not have enough attention to learn.

Health problems

If a child has some kind of disease, most often he receives a lot of attention and indulgences from his parents, and then from his teachers. Everyone feels sorry for them and treats them condescendingly. Unfortunately, children often take advantage of this and feign illness. After all, no one will scold you for absenteeism, but they will give you a good grade out of pity. The question is, why study and go to school then?

Inability to concentrate

Growing up is a long and gradual process. There is no point in scolding a primary school student for not wanting to study. It is important to understand that at this age children simply do not know how to maintain attention for a long time on anything other than play. Sitting at a desk and listening to a teacher is not an easy task for a six-year-old. According to scientists, a child will be able to fully learn and perceive all the necessary information in a lesson only by the age of 10-12 years.

Parents of teenagers often complain that older children simply stop learning and striving for knowledge. Even if school was going great in the elementary grades, during the transition period the performance of sons and daughters drops, they stop doing homework, and often simply skip classes.

In addition to the above reasons for reluctance to go to school, new factors appear in adolescence. A 12 year old child doesn’t want to study – why? Let's look at the possible reasons in more detail.

Personality formation

This is a very important period in human development, but it does not always go smoothly. At the age of 12-13, children begin puberty, and with it a period of disagreement with the rules and rebellion. This also affects studies.

Unbearable physical and emotional stress

It often happens that parents, in an effort to give their child the best, forget about the limits of their capabilities. As a result, the child goes to dozens of extracurricular activities and simply does not have time to rest and recover. The situation is aggravated if there are tense relationships in the family, and even at home the child cannot relax.

Lack of interest in a particular subject or problems mastering it

Some people are not good at mathematics, others - a foreign language, others - biology and chemistry. We are all individual, and it is impossible to love all subjects equally and excel in them.

Changing study conditions

A child's transfer to another class or school, a change of place of residence, or a change in learning mode can also cause a loss of interest in school. After all, the child has to adapt to conditions that are not always convenient, lose contact with classmates and get used to a new team. And these are not easy tasks.

Loss of motivation, lack of need to learn new things

It happens that at some point children stop seeing the point in studying. Especially if they see examples of more educated adults achieving less success than former poor students. A natural question arises: why study?

It is quite difficult to give any advice without seeing the specific situation. But in general, we can offer the following recommendations.

In case of excessive control

If there is excessive control and guardianship, it is better to give the child more freedom. Yes, at first, most likely, academic performance will drop even more, because the child will feel the will and begin to do what was previously prohibited. But then he will understand that being among the laggards is also not fun, and he will begin to take steps to improve his performance. And when he feels the taste of success, he is unlikely to be able to refuse it.

Boredom

If a child is clearly ahead of his classmates in terms of development and is bored in class, you need to choose a school for him with a complicated program. This way the child will gain new knowledge and stop being bored.

Conflicts with classmates and teachers

In case of conflicts with classmates or a teacher, mom and dad should gently explain the situation and think through possible solutions. If you can’t do this on your own, you can contact a psychologist.

It is better to avoid comparing your child with his peers; there is no need to give him examples of the successes of classmates and other children.

It is important to learn to find compromises. Allow the child to decide for himself in what order to complete tasks, set aside time for relaxation and enjoyable activities for the child. After all, school is not hard labor, and a child’s life should not consist only of studying.

If a son or daughter is going through adolescence, it is important not to press on them at this time, but to help them cope with difficulties. The main task of parents is not to make excellent students out of them, but to maintain a warm relationship with them. If necessary, you can hire a tutor.

It is important to remember that children of any age need parental support, attention and love.

Good luck to you and your children!

I suggest watching a video on how to help a child study at school if he doesn’t want to.

Anna Kutyavina,
psychologist, storyteller,
owner of the site Fairy Tale World,
author of the training book for adults Piggy Bank of Wishes

I thank Anya for such an important topic for many. Almost everyone experiences periods when children are less willing to go to school. And let the question not be too acute, but of course, it is worth understanding why this reluctance arises. All of Anya’s recommendations will help perfectly in this case.

And now I suggest you listen to the song School. Group clip Love stories .

see also

14 comments

Marfa
19 Sep 2018 at 6:32

Answer

Hello, Oksana Manoilo is with you again with a hot topic - what to do if a child does not want to study. Perhaps never before have desperate parents flooded Internet search engines with questions on the topic “ why does the child not want to study?", as in our days. The further it goes, the more frequent and hopeless it becomes.

In this article I will tell you secrets from my experience. How to maintain physical and mental health. Yours and your child's. How to maintain peace in the family and at school.

The child does not want to go to school or war of the worlds!

Most of us, parents, have a sweet illusory picture where our beloved grown-up child gives a bouquet of flowers to the first teacher, then eagerly holds out his hand in class, and at home diligently writes the letters in his homework. But all this is shattered by reality, in which the beloved child literally from the first days declares: “I won’t go there anymore and I won’t do anything!”

No, well, it’s not that we didn’t expect that it wouldn’t always be smooth sailing. But “not always” and “not at all smooth” are quite noticeable differences.

So what should I do? What should I do? We calmly persist until the cold understanding comes that he is not joking, he is not lazy, he just feels stupidly bad there.

Then, in the beginning of a slight internal panic, we run to find out whether everything is normal in adaptation, in relations with the teacher, in relations with classmates. And we fall into an even greater stupor, because in the overwhelming majority of cases, on these points everything is acceptable. And then what?

And then the oil painting: it is clear that nothing is clear at all. But a dearly loved person suddenly turns into a creature ready, almost to fight a war, to defend his right not to do anything “school”, or even not to go there at all.

Some of the children go into “shadow defense.” And over and over again exacerbating or almost weekly falling down with the notorious acute respiratory infections in order to stay at home - in war, all means are good.

Someone fights openly, sabotaging, ignoring, provoking, generally demonstrating confidence in their rightness and defending their right... Right to what?

We know that our children are not stupid at all, we know their strengths and weaknesses. But such unprecedented resistance cannot help but lead us to the fact that something is really wrong. Today we will talk about what exactly is wrong, how to interact with this “wrong”, what to expect, and so on.

Why doesn't a child want to study? - terrible truth!

Let's be honest with ourselves. Only a few of us loved school unconditionally and loved learning. Somehow I came across memories of the school childhood of people who were considered prominent minds of the times of Soviet socialism. Among them are physicists and major specialists in the field of power plant construction, and other no less outstanding personalities already at an advanced age.

Some recalled how the teacher locked them in the office to do their homework. And with the help of their friends, they climbed out through the window and ran to play football or rounders. Despite the fact that they knew about the inevitable harsh punishment later.

Others recalled with warmth and laughter how they pulled off a scam with light bulbs on a dark morning by inserting wet pieces of paper into the light sockets. The pieces of paper gradually dried out and contact was interrupted. The lights stopped burning and it was impossible to conduct a lesson, especially on cloudy winter days.

Therefore, it is obvious that if you think that the process of learning at school can be adored, then you are lying to yourself! And they carefully forgot about how it was for you. Okay, I don’t like it, but what to do?

What to do if a child does not want to study? The obligation to obtain a certificate of secondary education is now assigned to every citizen of the state. And it is the parent who will receive the administrative “a-ta-ta” if his child does not receive a certificate. On the other hand, why not drag it?

One against all!

Now let’s touch on the point why previously cases of confrontation with the school system were isolated. And now they are widespread. The answer is simple. We are raising completely different children. They are completely and unconditionally no longer even like us, their parents. What can we say about the previous generation, about our parents.

For grandparents, this phenomenon is completely incompatible with the concept of normal reality. This creates a terrible situation. When everyone - parents, grandparents, school - is on the same side of the barricades. And the child is one against everyone - against the other. Desperate, but not broken. Bye.

The peculiarity of new children lies in their heightened sense of self-esteem, high-quality self-esteem and reluctance to cheat. It’s interesting that the “provocateurs” are not the children who are scared at school, maybe humiliated, no.

Many parents express concerns that it is spinelessness that gives such a reaction to even slight pressure. Where there! It’s much easier to break down and go with the flow than to resist! Especially when you are small, but the system is big and it seems that everything is against you.

Almost always rebels are bright, active guys. Erudite, versatile in communication, perhaps unrecognized in the courtyard, or independent loners. Experts characterize them as “smart, but doesn’t want to learn.”

These children take the truth straight away, do not curry favor with authorities, ask inappropriate questions, and draw conclusions about reality based on the facts that they themselves see and feel, and not on what they are trying to “foist.”

That the school actually prohibits setting your own and achieving them by imposing your own. That school steals time from truly interesting things, and so on. Are you still surprised that the child does not want to study?

And if earlier we took it for granted, as a need to “just get through it,” because everyone lives like that. Modern people are endowed with a good, healthy egoism that forbids them to lie, first of all, to themselves.

What should parents do if their child does not want to go to school? A parent, if he wants to understand this situation and at least somehow swim into “neutral waters” in interaction with his own child and with this issue, he also needs to stop lying to himself! Lie about the fact that a child must have an inevitable desire to go to school in order to study there. Children cannot want to go there because of this, understand and accept it somehow.

Socialization – yes, it’s possible. Some psychologists who are quite loyal to school still agree that the first two or three school years are only suitable for adaptation and socialization. And seriously teaching children anything at this time does not make much sense. But it is also a myth that school is simply necessary for socialization.

Just admit, preferably out loud, that you understand your child’s feelings! And then you can sit down and think together about what exactly to do next.

What should you do if your child doesn’t want to go to school? - my main secret

First, for those who are not in the know, you just need to know that there are alternatives. External education, home or family education, Waldorf. All of them have proven themselves to be excellent. Comprehensive information about the features and nuances of a particular alternative education system can be easily found on the Internet. And also contact the “experienced” ones who have already “swimmed, know”. My children, for example, study in family education at home.

What to do if a child does not want to study? Many of those who seem to agree to the alternative are no longer confused by the fact that they will need to devote more focused time to their child’s studies. (Although those in the know say that in fact, it’s no more precise how someone perceives it). And what’s terrible is that the child will have a ton of free time!

Meanwhile, this is normal when homeschooling. And a surprise for such horrified parents may be that, in fact, complex computer games and noticeably long telephone conversations can become a valuable moment in the development of a child’s personality. And many hours of listening to music and even the “wrong” friends.

This is an experience, imagine. And the child has the right to it. What to do if a child does not want to study? Whatever it is, the example of parents will always be fundamental! It is by looking at this that the child will draw the right conclusions about everything, but he must live and try it himself.

The Myth of Doing Nothing

The second point, which is usually an insurmountable counterargument against alternative education, sounds almost hysterical: “But he won’t do anything!”

This is another myth that has stuck in the minds of a generation that has experienced violence through traditional education and dreamed in childhood: “Oh, I wish I could grow up and not make anything of this boring study!”

Meanwhile, the thirst for knowledge is a powerful natural force inherent at the genetic level. In childhood it is especially pronounced. What to do if a child does not want to study? And the paradox is that if you don’t put pressure on the child, explain the prospects, motivate, give a choice and allow him to bear responsibility, he will be willing to learn new things.

At first, perhaps, he will show inaction. If by that time he had been burned a lot by the traditional school dictatorship, but only in order to ensure peace of mind that it was not. That things are really different now. But then, having relaxed and removed his defenses, he will certainly begin to learn and experience. He simply cannot help but do this.

What to do if alternative education is not acceptable?

If for some reason alternative education is unacceptable for now, then you need to develop tactics and concepts, without this there is no way, because now you are already at the same time.

What to do if a child does not want to study? Firstly, all leading psychologists today say that if you strictly do all modern school assignments, you can develop mental problems.

It’s both sad and funny that in large successful companies, employees are required, on the contrary, to single out the important, currently relevant, fundamental and urgent ones from the total mass of things, “forgetting” everything else. This is called optimization and creativity. School teaches exactly the opposite.

If a child does not want to study, what to do? - advice from experienced people

Successful people are not those who know everything, but those who know where to look and how to comply. A successful person is mentally stable, cheerful and self-learning. And it is precisely the concept of success that needs to be clearly explained to the child. You need to explain to your child the benefits of success and make it a motivation.

What to do if a child does not want to study? It is imperative to know that in order to be successful in the classroom, you need to be sympathetic to the work of the teacher.

The important moment is precisely the feeling that a person can also be unhappy, a hostage of circumstances, since he expresses dissatisfaction. But in no case should this flow into ingratiation or trampling on one’s interests.

It’s just that sometimes in order to maintain a good “image” you need to work harder and do a good amount of work in order to calm down the constant teacher control. You need to read the paragraph at least during recess and raise your hand in time. Work hard on a test, and do your homework in between (and even if you copy it!).

And in reality, in this way, at least in the middle classes, you can study without getting on the nerves of either yourself or your teachers. This is not an illusion of education, this is the very balance when no one’s boundaries are crossed. And this, in general, is a good option for all participants in the school epic to save themselves.

Leave your fears to yourself!

For those who were not satisfied with the previous paragraph, I suggest asking yourself the question, what are you actually afraid of? Raise an ignoramus? Reveal your intransigence towards threes? Are you afraid that you will mumble, trying to soften the pill of your child’s “inconsistency” with school ideals in conversation with other people?

So be honest and do not cover up intracranial cockroaches with conversations about the importance of school education for the child’s future success in life.

A teenage child doesn’t want to study - maybe that’s healthy?

Be honest with your child and yourself. Keep harsh examples of reality in mind for your own self-control. Where excellent students and nerds work as waiters at McDonald's. And freedom-loving independent “C” students, thanks to their unconventionality, create new business niches. And not bad, enjoying life.

Education does not guarantee success and this is the truth. Look for compromises with your child. It may be in the form of an agreement. For example, that he chooses a direction that interests him and in which he himself will study well. And for this you will help him “slip” into others.

What else can you do if your child doesn’t want to study? It is very important for all of us now to learn from our children this very healthy selfishness. Acquire the skill of shifting part of the responsibility for their own lives onto them. Believe in your child. Love your child. Remember every minute that school is not life itself, but only a small part of it.

They will not only cope, but also surpass us in everything, have no doubt! After all, the new, kind, bright world that is being born now literally before our eyes is their world, and they know what is best. And if a child does not want to learn, it is only because this “knowledge” does not correspond to his new world. What to do if the child does not want to study? Help him!

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I, Manoilo Oksana, am a practicing healer, coach, spiritual trainer. You are now on my website.

Order your diagnostics from me using a photo. I will tell you about you, the causes of your problems and suggest the best ways out of the situation.

Chapter 1 - “The Unified Problem of Psychologists”

Families with school-age children often come to psychologists. And perhaps the most common reason for turning to a psychologist is the academic performance of their children. And even more precisely, a problem expressed almost always by the same phrase: “You see, he (she) doesn’t want to learn at all!”

Real problems of school performance - a teenager does not understand the teacher’s explanations, cannot learn the material, solve problems, generalize, highlight the main thing, etc., pale in comparison with this intractable task. This especially applies to middle and high school students. Parents, as a rule, are sure that if he “wanted” right now, “took it up,” “wasn’t lazy,” etc., then everything with his studies would be normal or even very good. Surprisingly, teachers also seem to massively support this strange parental opinion. That is, it turns out that a child just needs to be told or explained something like this, and he will want to learn? Of course not!

Very often, psychologists from parents (and ourselves) hear the phrase: “Yes, they are all like that now (referring, in addition to this, to the computer, television and the current culture, which allegedly spoiled their children)!” How stupid this sounds. Then why do they study computer science in schools if the computer spoils children; Why do you buy them expensive phones, why do you allow them to watch TV for a long time, if you yourself are referring to it. There are many more similar examples to be cited. Not in this case.

If a child does not want to study, and the value of education seems unconditional to parents, then he simply needs to be forced. There is a time-tested system of rewards and punishments: if you apply it creatively, you can achieve good results in managing the process. Then the child will grow up, figure out what’s what and will still be grateful to us for not paying attention to his whims.

Nothing happens for nothing. “Reluctance” always has a specific reason. Perhaps this program, this school, these teachers are not suitable for the child. He cannot and does not want to assimilate knowledge in one form, but, quite likely, he will want to if the form is changed. Parents who are truly interested in a quality education for their child must search until they find “the right thing” and the child’s interest in learning is restored.

There is no need to force and put pressure on the child, as well as experiment on him and drag him from school to school. He is a person, not an object of our ambitions. Remember how you yourself loved the Russian language, mathematics, chemistry, physics, biology... School education is not everything. Let him do what he likes and look for himself. Over time, he will figure everything out on his own.

But do these methods help? In many cases, no. Even in some cases they are not true.

Therefore, psychologists use creativity, and for example, give the following advice to students: study lessons while riding a bicycle, read textbooks, just hanging upside down on a horizontal bar... It really helps, but such advice is not enough for everyone. A so-called “prescription shortage” is formed.

Despite extensive practice in this issue, which is so important for parents, psychologists have not yet come up with any clear, permanent and general solution. So if the problems of hundreds of families who “don’t want to learn” are similar, maybe there is some kind of “correct” solution to this problem? And we decided to find this solution.

Chapter 2 - “Student Questionnaire”

We decided to conduct a survey of students to find out their opinions. This certainly helped us a lot. We had no idea how many problems students have during their studies. We conducted this survey among students in grade 7 “A”.

There were such questions:

#1 - Do you often not want to go to school?

No. 2 - Do you want to study at all?

No. 3 - What do you think is the percentage of students who do not want to study?

No. 4 - Name the main reasons for the reluctance to learn.

#5 - What should teachers do to show interest in their subject?

The answers to the first question (Do you often want to go to school?) are:

“NO” - answered 10 people out of 27;

“SOMETIMES” - answered 6 people out of 27.

So, we see that almost half (even more per person) want to go to school. But why? Just to communicate and make friends or what?

The answers to the second question (Do you really want to study?) were as follows:

“YES” - answered 17 out of 27 people;

“NO” - answered 7 people out of 27;

“SOMETIMES” - answered 3 out of 27 people.

This means that the majority still wants to study. But then why doesn’t he want to? Because students are simply not interested!

The average percentage of students who do not want to study was 76.7% of students. And only 23.3% are students who want to study.

The answers to the fourth question (Name the main reasons for the reluctance to learn) were very diverse. These are the words found there:

homework (said by 3 people out of 27);

boring (said by 6 people out of 27);

I don’t want to (said 2 people out of 27);

problems with teachers (said by 2 people out of 27);

difficult (said 5 people out of 27);

get up early (said 5 out of 27 people);

personal life (said 4 out of 27 people);

laziness (said by 17 out of 27 people).

If students really have so many problems at school, then why can’t they be solved somehow?

) “Bad upbringing and simple human stupidity” - this explains the fact that every parent in the early childhood of a child had to teach him to work.

) “It’s a very big burden, because it turns out that children are being deprived of their childhood! If he wants to go for a walk, he probably won’t be able to do it! For example, I sit until two or three o’clock in the morning studying!” - this explains that teachers think only about their subjects, and realize that other teachers also ask a lot.

) “No interest in subjects” - this phrase explains how boring it is to sit in class.

These three phrases gave me an idea - students understand that they need it, but some do not have time to cope with such a volume of homework, some, due to the huge volume of homework, simply deliberately begin not to do their homework, in the hope that teachers will understand this , and they will ask less questions, and some are simply bored.

The last question No. 5 (What should teachers do to show interest in their subject?) was quite creative and the answers would seem to be varied, but no. The answers were as follows:

Lessons need to be made more interesting (5 out of 19 people responded);

It is necessary to make lessons easier and present the material more accessible (5 people out of 19 responded);

Lessons need to be done more technologically (i.e. use the computer more, make presentations) (answered by 2 people out of 19);

You need to do your homework without being overloaded (3 out of 19 people responded);

Lessons should be varied (4 out of 19 people answered);

Homework should be done with jokes (as our class stated, it is very interesting to sit in class - physics; teacher Sergey Evgenievich Polyansky) (6 out of 19 people responded);

Homework should be done with a softer assessment (answered by 1 person out of 19);

Everything suits me (3 out of 19 people answered).

Teachers, please listen to the opinions of your students. Please try to conduct lessons the way we, the students, want them to be.

Chapter 3 - “Teacher Survey”

If some students refer to the guilt of teachers, then why not find out the opinion of the teachers themselves. We decided to conduct a survey of teachers.

The first question was: “Do you agree with the statement - Many students of the 21st century do not want to study.” The answers were as follows:

“Yes” - answered 1 out of 5 teachers;

“No” - answered 3 out of 5 teachers;

“50*50” (i.e. partially, but almost half) - answered 1 out of 5 teachers.

Heavy workload (4 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

Homework (none of the teachers agreed with this statement);

Boring (2 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

I don’t want to (1 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

Problems with teachers (2 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

Difficult (3 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

Get up early (none of the teachers agreed with this statement, telling me in response that it was just a daily routine);

Personal life (2 out of 5 teachers agreed with this statement);

Laziness (all 5 teachers agreed with this statement).

Therefore, we can safely say that the main reason, both in the opinion of teachers and in the opinion of students, is simple laziness.

But to the answer about the main reason why many students of the 21st century do not want to study is laziness, we can only add that laziness does not appear on its own. Laziness is a phenomenon that appears due to some reason. This is what we see with students. But why this laziness?

Chapter 4 - “Benefit or Harm”

According to many, and even almost all parents of students, modern technology harms their studies. Mostly parents lean towards TV and computer. Many children can sit for a long time in front of game consoles, begging their parents or bartering with their friends for more and more new cartridges. Happy owners of “real” computers (of which, we note, there are more and more of them) have even greater opportunities for spending time, including work, education or entertainment on the Internet. How should we feel about this? Hold and not let in or, conversely, let events develop as usual, citing the fact that each generation has its own tastes?

Here are some tips to help your child sit less in front of the TV and computer and do more homework:

)Limit the time your child spends in front of the TV and computer screen. The following periods are considered reasonably safe.

For a child 7-10 years old. TV - no more than two hours a day with mandatory breaks. Computer - no more than one and a half hours a day, with mandatory breaks after every 20 minutes of learning or playing.

For a child over 10 years old. TV - no more than three hours a day with mandatory breaks after every hour. Computer - no more than two hours daily, with mandatory breaks every half hour.

) Do not neglect generally known safety rules. You can watch modern color TV from a distance of at least one and a half meters. For older TVs, this distance should not be less than two meters. If your computer does not have a very modern monitor, be sure to purchase an additional protective screen. When watching television and working on the computer, you must take breaks every 30-40 minutes.

3) If the child suffers from neuropathy<#"justify">1)Tell your child more often that he must study in any case, despite all the feelings he experiences about it.

You constantly give examples of people who hated school their entire school life, and then achieved great success thanks to the knowledge they received there.

) Talk to your child about his shortcomings more often, mentioning his strengths as rarely as possible. Do not limit yourself to general definitions such as “lazy”, “scoundrel”, “brainless”, “armless”. If your child has poor memory, poor attention span, or poor abstract thinking, be sure to mention this. It is also necessary to tell the child more often that all these qualities will remain with him forever, since he “absolutely does not work on himself.”

) Be sure to tell your child that no one will ever be friends with someone like him (stupid, poorly educated, unreadable, physically weak, cowardly, etc.). If a child objects to you in the spirit that Katya and Vasya are already friends with him, raise your eyebrows contemptuously and pathetically exclaim: “Is this friendship?! Nowadays...” There is no need to finish the phrase so that the ideal picture of friendship in “your time" the child could complete it himself. Although it is necessary to mention that in your time, sick classmates were always brought home lessons (for some reason this is not customary for today’s children). Let the child who has to learn lessons over the phone realize the inferiority of his own relationships with classmates.

) Tell your child often and tastefully what a terrible fate awaits him if he does not study well. Be sure to mention the criminal "sixes", prostitutes, alcoholics, stall sellers and "oak-headed" security guards. Try telling him that Boris Yeltsin, Boris Nemtsov and Boris Berezovsky studied well at school. More often use your parents as an example, that is, yourself. If you've succeeded in life, it's only because you stared into your teacher's mouth for ten years. If you or your spouse consider yourself losers, then explain to your child that if you had studied at school a little better, you would have long ago become astronauts or bankers (depending on your passions and ideals). Or you can (for harmony) like this: dad is an astronaut, and mom is a banker. Honestly, your child will truly enjoy it.

Chapter 5 - “How to Arouse Interest in Studying”

Every teacher, no matter what educational institution he works in, knows well that the success of the lesson largely depends on the ability to arouse interest in his subject. However, awakening cognitive interest is just the initial stage of a large and complex work to cultivate a deep interest in knowledge and the need for self-education. We often do not think about how students worked in class, what main directions the teacher chose to awaken and develop creative activity, independence of thought, and the desire for self-education and self-education in his students. But this is the main thing!

By awakening and developing interest in a specific topic, a specific subject, each teacher not only carries out a simple transfer of experience, teaches something to his students, helps them master specific skills and abilities, but at the same time strengthens faith in their strengths and creative capabilities among weak students, not allows stronger children to stop in their development, teaches everyone to cultivate willpower, strong character and determination when performing difficult tasks. All this is the education of a creative personality in the broadest and deepest sense of the word.

What are today's students interested in most? What do you dream of becoming? What influence does modern society have on them? What helps you study better and show your creative individuality? What role does school play, and what should it be in the 21st century in order to prepare a person for a full life and work?

Education systems in any country are designed to contribute to the implementation of the main tasks of the socio-economic and cultural development of society, because it is educational institutions that prepare a person for active work in various spheres of the economic, cultural, and political life of society. Therefore, the role of school as a basic link in education is extremely important.

Determining strategic directions for the development of education systems is of concern to almost the entire world community. In the book “School for the 21st century. Priorities for Educational Reform,” American educator Phillip S. Schlechty, citing a survey of many businessmen, employers, and school officials, emphasizes that the question: “What do you want from school?” received, as a rule, the same answer: “We need people who know how to learn independently.” This is understandable, the author argues, if a student knows how to learn, is able to achieve a goal, if he knows how to work with a book, receive knowledge from a teacher, search and find the necessary information to solve certain problems, use a wide variety of sources of information to solve these problems, then it will be easier for him to improve his professional level, retrain, acquire any necessary additional knowledge - and this is exactly what is needed in life.