Schoolchildren's motivation to learn varies at all times. It depends on the activity of the labor market, the quality of education, the level of development of civil society and much more. EtCetera found out why many modern schoolchildren lack motivation.
FACT. According to education expert and TED speaker Ken Robinson, in some regions of the United States, 60-80% of students drop out of high school. At the same time, the United States remains one of the leading countries in terms of education funding.
In Ukraine, the situation is somewhat different - long-term traditions of education and the peculiarities of the labor market in our country do not allow schoolchildren to drop out of school. However, this does not change the fact that children are not interested in studying at school and their motivation decreases with the transition to each subsequent grade.
Ken ROBINSON, education expert:
Previously, schoolchildren were told: if you do well at school, you will enter a university, receive a diploma and definitely find a job. Our children do not believe in this, and they are right to do so. With a diploma, of course, it is better than without it, but it no longer gives any guarantees.
KNOWLEDGE WITHOUT APPLICATION. According to Robinson, the problem with modern education, at least in the United States (this is also relevant for Ukraine, - EtCetera) – in the obsolescence of the knowledge that children receive during their studies. They can no longer be applied in practice, because the world around has changed. This results in millions of children seeing no point in going to school.
UNFREEDOM. The pressure and control that children experience in the school system also does not add motivation. Moreover, not only the school, but also the family puts pressure on the child - parents expect good grades, exemplary behavior, and success in communication with other children. All this immerses him in an atmosphere of lack of freedom, which does not allow him to develop internal motivation.
All that remains in such conditions is to motivate the child from the outside (with threats, punishments or, conversely, gifts). However, extrinsic motivation cannot work forever. For example, it very often disappears during adolescence.
Internal motivation (the strongest and most significant in life), according to Russian psychologist and lecturer of the PostScience project Ekaterina Patyaeva, is built, first of all, on freedom of action, the help of a teacher and the opportunity to communicate with peers in a team.
The success of such motivation was proven by the experiment of the American teacher Barbara Shiel in the 1960s. By giving her students the opportunity to determine their own range of work for the day (while she helped them and corrected their work if necessary), she ensured that a previously underperforming problem class began to achieve good results in their studies. The children were given more freedom and became interested in learning.
PERSONNEL PROBLEM. Many have seen a video in which a mathematics teacher from one of the Turkish schools dances in front of the class with every student who came to his lesson. The children are delighted - this is a positive charge for the whole day and motivation to attend the mathematics lesson, in particular.
The issue of personnel training is very important. Finland, in order to achieve its high positions in international educational rankings, has made the teaching profession prestigious and highly paid. Those who go to school in this country are not those who failed to become prosecutors and economists, but those who have proven that they are worthy of teaching children. And this is not only knowledge of the subject, but also love for children, creativity, the ability to inspire your students and find a common language with everyone.
Ekaterina GOLTSBERG, child psychologist (from an interview with Ukrainskaya Pravda):
The institution of school as such and, above all, the status of the teacher are devalued in society. When a child has formed a negative position about school or a teacher, he goes to school already determined that where he is going is bad. A devalued teacher cannot teach.
DISTORTED ETHICS. Another reason why children are disappointed in their studies is the blurring of ethical boundaries and norms by adults themselves. For example, children at school are taught to behave well, not to cheat, to lead a healthy lifestyle, to respect their interlocutors, while adults break all these rules all the time, and often this is what becomes the key to their survival, career advancement and achieving their own goals . Watching this, the child feels a “catch”, as if he is being taught utopian things that have nothing to do with reality and will not help in life.
And this is one of those reasons that cannot be corrected from within the education system. After all, the school does everything right - it develops creative character traits and habits in children.
AND BEFORE? Our parents (and grandparents) lived in a world where education was regarded as something that made a person a citizen and a worthy member of society. And higher education was actually a “path to a better life.” Therefore, and also because the teacher was the main source of knowledge, the authority of the school and the motivation to learn were very high. There was no alternative to school, and everyone understood this.
But times have changed. And what made school a center of knowledge and social communications no longer works. A modern school needs to solve the problem of personnel and organize the educational process according to new principles that meet the level of activity of children and their interests.
Studying makes many people despondent, but every year the problem of reluctance to attend school becomes more and more aggravated. Even first-graders, who 10 years ago were waiting for classes to begin, today completely refuse to attend school. In middle grades, students go to classes without enthusiasm, and high school students are horrified by the word Unified State Exam. Each child, as he grows up, has his own reasons for not liking school. Ways to overcome this problem are different and depend on age, character, and some other characteristics, which we will discuss in the article.
Why this happens, as well as consultations with psychologists, read in this material.
Origins reluctance to learn
Psychologists advise first to figure out why the child does not want to study, and then only act. It is necessary to observe the student and his behavior, discuss the situation in a warm and friendly manner. Accusations and scolding will not help here - adults need to clearly understand that their goal is to motivate the child to actively study, and not to throw out their righteous anger. Therefore, first we understand the origins of a negative attitude towards learning, and only then we look for ways to solve the difficulties that have arisen.
What to do if your child does not want to go to school
Causes, :
- Features of children's temperament.
- Soreness.
- Hyperactivity.
- Lack of motivation.
- Difficulties in communicating with other students or teachers, conflicts.
- Family problems.
- Diffidence.
- Insufficient level of responsibility.
- Smart, but lazy at the same time.
- Strong attachment to entertainment, gadgets, games.
What to do ,
To finallyto understand the origins of the lack of desire to learn, consider each of the reasons in more detail and find ways to overcome this problem. Remember that only constructive methods of overcoming learning difficulties can help - scolding children is useless.
children do not want to go to school due to lack of motivation 1 reason is temperament
Psychologists have long distinguished 4 types of temperament:
- Choleric is active, intolerant and nervous, easily excitable.
- A sanguine person is sociable and lively, but at the same time diligent and efficient.
- Phlegmatic – balanced and calm, easily copes with any difficulties.
- Melancholic - vulnerable and touchy children, susceptible to stress and easily tired.
Of these four children's temperament types, learning is most difficult for melancholic and choleric people, since it is these children who are the most emotional. It is easiest for sanguine and phlegmatic people to gain knowledge. If schoolchildren with a strong nervous system have difficulties with their studies, then we must continue to look for the root of the problem.
What to do , if the child does not want to studyhaving a choleric or melancholic temperament:
- Melancholic people.
Melancholic children have a much harder time studying than any other children. They take the slightest failures or conflicts with teachers and fellow students to heart. Melancholic people get tired very quickly, both physically and mentally.
Such a child needs to take breaks to rest and restore the body and psyche. Try to pace your studies and homework so that the workload increases gradually. This way, your young schoolchild will get used to large amounts of tasks more easily and his self-esteem will grow, which is important for melancholic children.
- Cholerics.
It would seem that choleric people are very different from guys with a melancholic temperament. But both of them experience difficulties with their studies. In the case of choleric children, the difficulty lies in the lack of patience and the rapid fading of interest. The parents of such a student face a difficult task - to learn how to dose their activities in such a way as to constantly maintain interest in learning. Change the assignments, for example, 30 minutes of reading homework, 30 minutes of math homework. Give your choleric a rest, let him play or even watch TV in between homework.
the child does not want to study - it is worth discussing this problem Reason 2 – soreness
Children who have some health problems often miss classes. Because of this, many topics remain misunderstood, and catching up on missed material is not so easy. In addition, a student may begin to cheat and say that he allegedly has something in pain in order to miss classes again. Teachers often meet such students halfway and give positive grades without the appropriate knowledge.
Such children should be gently attracted to study, not scolded, and not doubted that they really feel bad.
3rd reason, – hyperactivity
Motor activity and lack of attention syndrome (ADHD) or hyperactivity is a disease of the nervous system that requires correction by a neurologist. This does not mean that students with hyperactivity and ADHD cannot attend a comprehensive school - they can and should, because their intelligence is not affected.
the child does not want to study 4th reason, – insufficient motivationto gain knowledge
The presentation of educational material by different teachers may differ significantly. Some teacher can interest any student in his subject, but in the lessons of another teacher you want to yawn.
In this case, it is necessary to interest the student, explain why this or that object is needed and how it can be useful. Help your child understand what he wants to become after graduation and what to do, then motivation and interest in studying will appear on their own.
Reason 5 – conflict situations
Difficulties in communicating with other students, a negative attitude towards some teachers happen very often. MaleIt is still difficult for any person to focus on the main thing - studying, instead of resolving and experiencing conflicts. Problems communicating with other students or even with teachers take up all your energy and time.
Parents in such a situation should help improve school relations, and to do this, find out the cause of the conflicts. Only after solving the problem with your child’s interpersonal relationships can you move on to the main thing – getting him interested in studying.
Schoolchildren do not yet know how to separate the personality of the teacher and the subject itself. If the teacher has not found an approach to the students in the class, then no one likes to teach lessons on this subject. As in the case of a lack of motivation to learn, psychologists advise trying to interest the student, explaining how interesting and necessary this subject is. Closer to graduation, it is easier to do this by explaining to your child the need to receive a quality education and undergoing career guidance at school.
Reason 6 – difficulties in the family
Psychologists believe that negativity in the family negatively affects the development of any little person. Both health and mental activity suffer.
If there is discord in the family, try not to involve your offspring in negative situations, protect him from quarrels and clarification of relations between spouses.
the child does not want to study - conflicts 7th reason, – diffidence
This is one of the most common reasons. Life forces parents to set global and difficult goals for their child. And when the baby doesn’t succeed, mom and dad reproach him for it, showing their disappointment in him. Almost every parent said to their children such words as: “And Aunt Masha’s son is a medalist, and you are a C student!”, “Sveta’s neighbor is doing excellent in her studies and goes to ballet, but you can’t even do simple things!” .
Parents in this way only want to spur their offspring to conquer new heights, but the effect is the opposite. The schoolboy thinks that he can’t keep up with the medal-winning ballerina, which means there’s no point in trying.
8 reason, – insufficient level of responsibility
From early childhood, parents take care of the baby and control his every action - and this is correct at an early stage of development. But the older the child gets, the more freedom and opportunity he should be given to make his own decisions.
If mom or dad packs a student’s schoolbag and completely controls the daily routine and homework, this is not correct. The son or daughter of such parents does not learn to make decisions on their own and always hopes for someone else. Why think about deciding everything on his own if his parents will do it for him?
Parental control is necessary, but to a certain extent. If you go too far, then instead of a responsible student motivated to study, there is a high risk of getting an uninitiated lazy person.
Reason 9 – smart but lazy
There are children for whom studying comes very easily. They only need to flip through the textbook to understand the subject. But the catch is that such a student becomes uninterested in listening to the teacher and completing assignments. As a result, grades leave much to be desired, and in the worst case, the student misses new topics, the material on which is then difficult to understand on his own.
10 reason – addiction to games, entertainment, gadgets
All kinds of addictions are the scourge of our time. The available entertainment in the form of a computer and telephone has become too much to avoid. Yes, school lessons are increasingly becoming related to computer technology.
In this case, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between time for study and time for rest. It is worth entering into an agreement with the student that he will be allowed to play on the computer only after completing his homework.
What to do if a child does not want to study – general recommendations and advice from psychologists depending on the age of the children
why does a child not want to go to primary school? What to do if your child doesn’t want to study V primary school
The most common reasons why children refuse to go to primary school are reluctance to wake up early, do homework, and fear of a formidable teacher. Also, a new children's team can inspire fear.
- At the very beginning of training, treat your child as if adapting to kindergarten - put your common photo in his briefcase, allow him to take his favorite toy to play with it during breaks.
- Meet the teacher in advance and watch cartoons and books about the student’s daily routine. Let the young student know what to expect during class.
- Rehearse getting ready for school and homework through the game. As tasks for such training, you can give real tasks in copybooks or in an ABC book. During the game, change roles - let the child be the teacher, give orders and write in the copybooks with red paste - this will reduce the fear of bad grades and the teacher.
- There is no need to scold a first grader for bad grades. It’s better to network together and try to sort out the mistakes and show the correct solutions to the tasks.
- As an incentive at the end of the school week, you can go with the student to entertainment events - to the cinema or an entertainment center for kids. In higher grades, you can also reward a student, but for good grades, and not just for attending classes.
What to do if your child doesn’t want to study in middle school
Opinion According to psychologists, the reluctance of children aged nine to twelve to study comes down to the presence of conflict situations with teachers or classmates. At this age, the child is still highly dependent on the opinions of others, but is already showing his own “I” and character.
First of all, you need to talk to the student and find out whether this is really a conflict situation. It is also worth discussing this situation with the teacher, finding out his point of view and getting recommendations on ways to solve the problem. A teacher can become an excellent educational assistant, because he has enormous practical experience in establishing relationships with a wide variety of students.
Try to protect your offspring from domestic conflicts. Any person, especially a small one, should have confidence that their parents will always understand, help and support, no matter what happens.
Don’t forget about rewards for good studies - the carrot and stick method has not been canceled, but very often parents forget about rewards when punishments are not long in coming.
Those problems with socialization that seem funny and stupid to you are extremely important for young schoolchildren. Parents should in no way mock or devalue their child’s experiences.
What to do if your child doesn’t want to study V adolescence after 12 years
Although in At this age, interpersonal communication problems with peers become most acute; psychologists identify another main reason for the lack of desire to learn - meaningless and uninteresting subjects.
At the ages of 13 to 17 years, students decide on their future profession and education. They additionally study in areas necessary in the future; parents pay for tutors. Therefore, those subjects that will not be useful to them in life and, most importantly, when entering a secondary or higher educational institution, turn out to be unnecessary and uninteresting.
But at this age it is already possible to explain to children why they need education and non-core subjects. A teenager is able to realize that without a broad outlook, which comes from studying all school subjects, it is difficult to succeed in life. In addition, everything in life can change dramatically several times, and then the lessons that are currently uninteresting will come in handy.
We must not forget about properly stimulating interest in learning. Reward your child for good grades - this method works great.
Results
Unfortunately, the modern education system is structured in such a way that the bulk of difficulties in learning and overcoming them falls on the shoulders of parents. If not you, then no one will explain to your offspring the need to receive a decent education. No one but you will interest him in his studies.
Teacher of mathematics and computer science
Question from Alla, Moscow:
"What to do? The child does not want to go to school. My son is 13 years old. For the second year now, he has not wanted to go to school, does not want to study, and is afraid to admit his poor performance. After a parent-teacher meeting, at which all his grades became known, he told his grandmother that all he could do was “hang himself” and that he didn’t want to live...”
Victoria Vinnikova, teacher, answers:
I understand your situation. We begin to sound the alarm when we do not understand the child’s behavior and actions. This happens especially often during puberty. There is no need to wait for the irreparable, hear his cry for help. And try to understand.
Why doesn't a child want to go to school? What are the reasons? What is it: restlessness, inability to concentrate, irresponsibility? Or does the child simply not see the point in this race for good grades? The exact answers are given by System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, which reveals our unconscious desires.
Why a child doesn’t want to study - let’s look at the reasons
Initially, all children want to learn, they are naturally curious and want to develop. This means that something went wrong, and we, the adults, made mistakes.
What really prevents you from learning? Let's find the root of the problem - we'll understand how to solve it.
We are all different, yet each has innate desires, talents and abilities. In terms of System-Vector Psychology - vectors.
So, the mental properties are different, but the school has uniform teaching standards. As a result, everyone becomes hostage to the system. Children fall into the grindstones of an education system that does not take into account individual characteristics.
Very often we begin to look for external reasons, blaming the world around us. Consciousness gives us rationalizations instead of true reasons. And now the distorting mirror shows us the following reasons for the lack of desire to learn: a bad or evil teacher, bad classmates, the wrong school curriculum, or the education system in general is no good.
But by blaming the world around us, we will not find an answer. Here you need to look at the very essence and see through everyone. System-vector psychology gives us special 3D glasses to see the true reasons. Do you want these 3D glasses?
I'm sure your answer is YES!
Don't want to study or don't want to go to school
Our psyche is structured this way - we either run for pleasure or avoid suffering. In our case, the child is running away from suffering. What kind of suffering does a teenager experience if he runs away from school, the group, and doesn’t want to study? Conflicts, misunderstandings in the team, difficult relationships with teachers - all this, like a snowball, falls on the teenager.
The child himself does not realize what is really happening and how best to act when everything around him is wrong. After all, he is captive of his fears, uncertainty, in search of an inner core.
Your son’s difficulties with school began at the age of 11. This is the age when teenagers begin to express their desires and resist what they don't like. What can be done and how to help the child get out of this vicious circle? The obvious answer is that we need to do not what we did before, but something else - find internal reasons why the child does not want to learn.
Doesn't want to study or doesn't have time?
Children who have an anal vector almost completely correspond to the portrait of an ideal, even golden student. By nature, they are endowed with perseverance, excellent memory, have an analytical mind and want to learn. Such guys are diligent and scrupulous, until they fully understand the issue, they cannot master the material.
It is children with the anal vector who become hostage to the frantic high-speed rhythm that naturally penetrates and.
At first he tries to adapt to the situation, but gradually the load increases, and such a child ceases to keep up with everything. He does not have enough time to understand all the details, to delve into the subtleties of objects. And then he unconsciously begins to resist the school load, which is difficult for him to cope with - he begins to be stubborn, takes offense, and falls into a stupor.
How does the child feel?
By nature, he wants to be the best, he sincerely tries, but at the same time he does not receive the assessment of his work that would correspond to the efforts he put in. Because of this, resentment arises. Whatever he does turns out to be not enough, and he gradually gives up. And now he no longer knows where to start, in which subject to tighten his tail, when the program has gone far ahead. In addition, he may be tormented by a feeling of guilt for not living up to the expectations placed on him by teachers and parents, and by lack of confidence in his own abilities. All this prevents him from starting to study.
And the system and parents put even more pressure on him. Adults think that a child should do everything quickly and be able to do everything, not sit back with lessons, give clear answers to questions, but he cannot do this due to his natural characteristics: he needs time to learn the material, and such children often give answers detailed, sometimes drawing out words and getting stuck on details. The teacher sometimes does not have the patience to listen to such a child to the end, to wait for him to get to the point in his reasoning. In fact, this child has inherent abilities that will allow him in the future to become the best professional expert in his field. And adults need to try to be more patient with such a child. They must understand that the student does not do this consciously, it’s just that his natural abilities at this moment come into conflict with the requirements of the school.
The school requires a standard, but the child is individual
It seems to adults that the child must meet standards, but he cannot due to his natural properties. He tries, but he doesn't succeed. Who is to blame for this situation?
I will not blame the education system, because it adapts to the rhythm of the modern world and tries, as best it can, to adapt children to these rapidly changing conditions. But especially slow children get overstressed in such situations. A child is given by nature the ability to be an excellent student, but he cannot achieve this due to circumstances that do not depend on him.
Doing their homework efficiently and understanding the topic thoroughly is their desire. But in reality it turns out to be the complete opposite - fast pace and literally a race. When a desire does not come true for a very long time, a person becomes frustrated - I want it and I don’t get it. This is one of the reasons that a child does not want to study, does not want to go to school.
After all, he gets stress at school instead of pleasure.
Based on the mental characteristics of such children, we will try to take other steps. Here's one tip:
- Take one item and try to restore the gaps and close the “tails”. For a child with an anal vector, this is an absolutely feasible task. He will gladly get down to business. After all, it is in his nature to do everything consistently and slowly. It is very difficult to recover material when the lag is very large. At the same time, children lose interest in learning. If possible, take a tutor.
But if adults make him run in all directions, reproaching him - “You got a D in math, you write poorly in Russian, and you fail in English”? From such comments he falls into an even more stupor, because he does not understand at all what to do and how to clear away these rubble. That's why:
- Talk to your child in a good positive way, without reproaches or judgements. Explain to him how important it is to study. Tell him that you believe in him and will treat him well regardless of his academic success.
Make a plan and try to implement it a little at a time. After methodically working with one object, a child with an anal vector will gain confidence in his abilities and, by analogy, will do the same with other objects.
Does your child not want to study or can’t be assiduous?
Adults paint themselves a portrait of an ideal student. He must be attentive, diligent, have a good memory, and quickly grasp information. But the realities of life paint a different portrait, which depends on the innate given properties of the child, his vectors. And often active children with a skin vector, who can grasp everything on the fly, are given. Such children constantly fidget in class, drop things, talk and distract other children, and cannot sit quietly for 40 minutes before the bell rings.
Teachers complain that they are inattentive and do not want to learn. Is it really? Of course not. It’s just that these students need a special approach, which is easily found by teachers with a systematic approach.
At the same time, such schoolchildren have a very adaptive psyche and they easily adapt to the realities of the modern education system if they are given a little push and explained to them through their internal values why they need to study.
Run from school - crawl to school
There are special students - potential geniuses. These are the owners of the sound vector. There are only 5% of such children. By nature, they have day and night exactly the opposite. This is why such children become animated at night and cannot be raised for school in the morning.
Sound artists are lovers of silence, darkness and loneliness. For them, school is a natural stress. It's noisy and crowded there. And if a boy with a sound vector moves away from everyone during recess, that’s normal. Everyone is screaming, and he is literally in pain from the sharp sounds.
A child with a sound vector tries to hide from unpleasant and loud sounds, and then he withdraws into himself. The teacher asks, and he answers, as if leaving his inner world: “Huh? Who? I?"
He is concerned about abstract issues, not the race for grades. He is all in himself, because he is unconsciously looking for the answer to the most important question in his life - what is the meaning of life.
And when the sound artist is pulled out of his thoughts and search for answers, he begins to quietly hate people with all their “stupid” questions and material desires. The sound student has a powerful abstract intellect, and the school curriculum comes easily, almost without any effort. They already know everything, and they are frankly bored at school. Comparing themselves with other children, they begin to experience a sense of inner superiority. Therefore, they are often arrogant, and others seem stupid or even idiots to them.
And then this feeling of superiority can play a cruel joke on them: they stop investing in classes, don’t do their homework, believing that it is too easy and they will still have time to do it during the break between classes. During class they can read a textbook on another subject or some extracurricular literature of interest. Considering themselves superior to others, they wonder what teachers can teach them. This is how a conflict arises between the child and the teachers.
Teachers often say about such a student that he does not want to study. But in fact, he simply doesn’t see the point in it.
The sound vector is a gigantic volume of the psyche. In silence, such children are able to form ingenious thought forms. All great discoveries on earth have been made by sound engineers.
But it can be the most difficult for a sound engineer to adapt to the world around him. Carried away by their thoughts, they forget about everything in the world. This is what they say about: “Instead of a hat, he put on a frying pan as he walked.”.
From constant exposure to loud sounds and from offensive meanings conveyed by teachers and parents ( “You're stupid! You don't understand anything! Why did I even give birth to you?”), a sound student can withdraw so deeply into himself that he loses the ability to learn. And today loud sounds and negative meanings surround us almost everywhere - at school, in the family, from TV screens. In this situation, many children - not only sound learners - lose the ability to learn through the ear: they hear words, but cannot perceive them.
And sometimes, when a sound child withdraws into himself and loses contact with people, during puberty he may even have a fear of going crazy. The “System-Vector Psychology” training helps to cope with this problem.
How to help a child with sound vector - system tips
A child in adolescence always requires special attention and delicacy.
The most difficult thing is to convince a child to study with a sound vector. Only passion and involvement in some area that challenges his enormous abstract intellect can help here. This could be programming or solving Olympiad problems. Anything, even research papers.
By the way, the combination of skin and sound vectors gives a talent for programming, and the combination of anal and sound vectors gives the opportunity to potentially become a scientist.
So, we looked at the situation from all sides and realized that we couldn’t do it without the help of at least one adult. The most important thing is when the child feels supported by you. In this case, he will definitely try and overcome difficulties with his studies.
If adults continue to put pressure on you, you can end up in really unpleasant situations. For example, children will go looking for answers on the Internet, find a “friend” there who will understand them, and then give advice that will lead to sad consequences.
As a teacher, I advise you to take the child's side. At the same time, it is necessary to clearly understand the natural properties of the child, provide him with support, plus take into account the characteristics of adolescence. During this period, a teenager is most vulnerable; he is preparing to enter adulthood, and it seems to him that he already “knows everything,” especially what needs to be done. But he still has little life experience, so he needs the support of his loved ones.
During this period, parents and teachers need to be even more attentive and observant.
I have observed in my practice when a systematic approach and parental support literally gave the child the opportunity to blossom. Twos and threes disappeared, and bad grades were gradually corrected. The child was almost becoming...
Here are the reviews from training participants:
“...And the studies have improved, we are moving towards results: four in the quarter in the Russian language, the rest of the subjects are five!!! Well, at school, seeing the changes, they say, I just grew up. No, not just grown up! Simply - a systemic mother. Today I understand my mistakes and know how to avoid them, I know what my child needs for normal development. And this is just the beginning..."
Ekaterina A., economist-manager, Moscow
“...And then he began to wear fives one after another. Seeing his condition, I decided not to give him the pills that we took periodically during this time and the course of which was scheduled for October.
Today, when I am writing this review, there are three days left until the end of the school semester and my son is finishing with an excellent student!!”
Yuliana G., piano teacher at a music school, Ulyanovsk
“...There were big problems with the eldest child. Emotional instability, even to the point of hysteria, problems with studies - the child categorically did not want to study, and almost from birth he rejected any attempt to learn anything from the outside, which led to constant scandals when trying to do homework...
The course began on August 22, and already from September 1, my daughter changed fundamentally. She became calmer, stopped crying altogether at school, and gradually came to the conclusion that she likes studying!..”
Anastasia T., entrepreneur, Warsaw, Poland
Only sincere interaction between parents and children will allow us to understand what is really happening. Does your child not want to learn or avoid conflicts? Children can actually be very cruel and aggressive, and without the competent guidance of a teacher, situations can arise, like in the movie “Scarecrow”.
When you begin to understand how your child's psyche works, you can tell him how to find something good in school and love learning.
You can try on 3D glasses, see and understand the true reason why a child does not want to go to school, already at a free online training February 22, 2018
Why doesn't the child want to study? He’s not just lazy, he allows himself to fail to learn a lesson, to cheat from a neighbor, to get out of it at the expense of a hint. The student actively resists any attempt to force him to study, and goes to any lengths to avoid doing his homework. Such children become a “headache” for the teacher at school, turning the lives of their parents and loved ones into hell, not to mention the fact that their own children’s life also becomes like hard labor.
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Kapshitar V. A.
educational psychologist
WHY DON'T CHILDREN WANT TO STUDY?
One of the fundamental principles of psychology states that all functions and abilities of a child and, in general, a person develop in the process of activity and communication with other people.
Why doesn't the child want to study? He’s not just lazy, he allows himself to fail to learn a lesson, to cheat from a neighbor, to get out of it at the expense of a hint. The student actively resists any attempt to force him to study, and goes to any lengths to avoid doing his homework. Such children become a “headache” for the teacher at school, turning the lives of their parents and loved ones into hell, not to mention the fact that their own children’s life also becomes like hard labor.
If we take into account the bulk of children with average abilities and moderately gifted children, then the main factors determining their development will beactivity and communication.
For a preschooler, the leading activity is play. It is in the process of play that the child develops attention, imagination, and voluntary control of his behavior. If a 5-6 year old child is deprived of play and fully included in work activities, even if feasible, this will lead to developmental delays or some kind of distortion. The normal development of a preschooler cannot occur within this activity. Its elements must be present in a child’s life, but it should not replace play.
For school-age children, studying becomes the leading activity. Of course, this does not mean that she should be the only one. Junior school children play with pleasure, high school students get involved in work. These types of activities are present to one degree or another in the life of a student. But only one is leading - study. It is she who shapes and determines his mental development. You can play games as much as you like and with pleasure, but games no longer develop his functions and abilities as much as they used to. Elements of work activity can be useful as pieces of tomorrow interspersed into today’s life, but they do not yet play a decisive role in the development of memory, thinking, attention, and control of behavior. The need to change the leading type of activity does not strictly fit into age boundaries. To some it comes earlier, to others later. For adults, work activity is also not the only activity. In their free time, adults can have their own games, and study, especially in the sense of advanced training, for many of us, with some interruptions, continues throughout our adult life. But personality development occurs in the process of work, in the course of relationships with other people.
Where does the reluctance to learn come from?
When a child enters school, the leading activity changes: play gives way to study. This means that a child who does not want to learn resists and protests against this change. For particularly difficult children, this process lasts for years. A normally raised child, even in preschool age, knows many restrictions, has ideas about what is prohibited and what is dangerous, what is necessary and what is harmful. But even for such a child, most of his time is free. It is dedicated to the game, and adults, as a rule, do not interfere with it. The child is free in the game. His will is practically unlimited. He does what he wants. But this is if the child is raised normally and is healthy. If a child is not educated already at 3-4 years old, then he is already free not only in the game, but also outside of it. His behavior is not prohibited even in cases where his behavior causes protest among many adults. He early realizes that his will is the law for those around him. The child gets used to doing what he wants, even when one of the adults does not like it.
And suddenly - school. The usual way of life is changing dramatically. You can no longer do what you want in class. Whether you want to fulfill the teacher’s demands or not is of no interest to anyone. Children quickly learn that school is a place where the rules are different than at home. Whether you like it or not, you must obey these orders. Until recently, a child could do what he wanted at home, but he had to sit down and write. Studying from the very beginning requires effort from the student, comparable to the work of adults in production.
Intellectual passivity is one of the most common cases leading to reluctance to learn. It usually occurs as a reaction to very neglected material; the student simply ceases to understand what is happening in the lesson. He gives up, and he no longer wants to try to at least partially understand what is happening, or to think, or to work mentally at all. The reluctance to work mentally and strain develops into a habit. Intellectual passivity develops. The flip side is the reluctance to learn. Neglect of material sometimes occurs as a result of absences from classes - the student was sick a lot or changed his place of residence. If you do not intervene in time, the action will turn out to be either unformed or formed with some defect.
Three points of view on the motivation of a child’s educational activity.
Firstly, this long-term and short-term motivation.At the age of seven, when a child comes to school, he knows why he needs to study. Knowing that you need to get a specialty, help mom and dad, etc. should be an incentive to study. This, from the point of view of adults, is logical and undeniable. But at this age, distant motivation has practically no effect on human behavior.Short motivation– a close result is what determines the child’s behavior.
Another point of view is that the child is encouraged to learncognitive motive.The child is driven by the joy of learning. Indeed, when a book, in fact, was a source of knowledge, there was no TV or computer, tablet or phone, the path of knowledge lay through school. But today children come to school with a different supply of information. It turns out that children have already heard about everything interesting, at least half an ear, and the bright joy of knowledge is left to the multiplication table, conjugating irregular verbs and other not very exciting things.
Finally, the third point of view. She brings out the student's motivation insocial sphere.According to this point of view, the child’s desire to study well is supported by the attitude of others. But it’s not so easy to force yourself to do something, even very pleasant to those around you, if you don’t fully understand and feel why you need it yourself.
So, the effect of distant motivation is unjustified, the cognitive components and the beneficial influence of others are greatly exaggerated. Thus, children often believe that school is a place where they force you, where they assign you work and make your life miserable if you don’t complete it. Of course, this judgment is too categorical, but it is very accurately applicable to some part of the children. These are children who attend school but do not want to learn. The picture we get is when a child doesn’t want to study yet, but his parents, teachers, and school principal want it for him. Together they try to do everything possible to help the child. But the child does not want to study, because it is difficult for him to study. Those who are trained to overcome difficulties will cope, but those who are not trained or poorly trained will not. If a child from an early age is accustomed to doing what is necessary, and not just what he wants, then he will cope with the bitterness of learning.
What should parents do to make the transition from play to study less painful? And is it necessary to do anything at all?
Fortunately, there are now fewer and fewer parents who believe that their child’s education is entirely on the shoulders of the teacher. But parents have a rather vague idea of what exactly to do.
The first task of parents is to help the child learn a new activity. For a child, even if he attended a good kindergarten with exciting classes, educational activities are still unusual. When starting to engage in it, the child constantly makes mistakes that are completely unthinkable from an adult point of view. For example, not only in the first, but also in the second and third grades there are children who first do an exercise and then learn the rule for which the exercise is assigned. Sometimes it is enough to watch the child for a while to suggest a simple technique. After all, studying is such an unusual activity for a child that mistakes are simply impossible to predict. If you don't pay attention to them, they can take hold and turn into incorrect work practices. All these errors, as a rule, are quite clearly visible to the adult eye. To detect them, you don’t need to be a teacher or psychologist—it’s enough to pay attention to the child. But adults do not pay sufficient attention to this. Incorrect work methods will lead to failure in studies, and if this becomes a stable phenomenon, to the emergence of an aversion to learning.
It must be remembered that no matter how difficult family circumstances may be, the child continues to grow and develop. This process cannot be stopped for a minute. And everything that is not done for him in a timely manner (no matter what the circumstances) will be difficult to make up for, and maybe simply impossible.
Help from teachers and parents
The child needs help from the teacher. Help from parents is also needed. And one help does not replace another. The first common mistake parents make is to replace the student in work either at the execution stage or at the control stage. The second mistake is a misleading assessment of the child. Parents who are helping their child forget to maintain contact with the teacher. The principle of unity of requirements is violated.
An area of work that parents should not lose sight of is organizing the education of a child who has recently entered school. This is developing the habit of rigorous and systematic preparation of lessons. Whatever happens, lessons must be learned. There is no excuse for unprepared lessons, and there cannot be - this must be made clear to the little schoolchild. This point is perhaps the most important among preventive measures. Of course, there will be difficulties in learning, but they will not develop into an unwillingness to learn. How to achieve this goal? Lessons should not be postponed or rescheduled several times at the request of the student. Doing homework should be accompanied by developing an approach to lessons as an important and serious matter that evokes respect from adults. This is where we need to start. It is important to make it clear that the importance of lessons is on a par with the most serious matters of adults. To do this, you must meet some conditions:
Even at preschool age, a child should be taught that when parents are busy, they should not be disturbed;
Instilling respect for mental work.
What can you advise parents when their reluctance to learn has become persistent?
Everything that was missed then must be done now. But this will not be easy to do. Everything will have to be done under extremely unfavorable conditions and with slow results. Now this will take months, not weeks. The older the student, the more difficult it is to influence him. This is already a fully formed person, capable of selecting influences on him. He withdraws from some and blocks them, while he opens up to others (the period when the child begins to realize the advantages and disadvantages and begins to engage in self-education). This circumstance must be taken advantage of, turning the student from an enemy into an ally.
Direct measures are ineffective. It must be remembered that the student is also the suffering party. He does not know how and does not want to study, and is in constant conflict with teachers and parents. He is the butt of jokes in the class. At such moments, the student is happy to accept the hand extended to him. At this moment he is open, does not try to isolate himself from elders with rudeness or silence.
The home environment (learning and personal space) also plays a big role.
class (coziness, comfortable furniture, uncrowded space, useful things and modern information equipment). That environment that not only teachers, but also parents try to create for their children.
The emergence of a student’s reluctance to study is, unfortunately, a common unpleasant case. It is easier for parents to resist his nature than for a school teacher. Of course, in matters of education and development there are no recipes suitable for all occasions. All cases are individual. Therefore, any recommendations cannot replace the need to think for yourself and solve your educational problem in all its uniqueness.
- Suggest positivity. Don't be scared by future troubles.
- Be patient. Give your child time to learn new things.
- Respect your child's right to privacy. If a child is afraid of you, he will lie.
- Tell your child that he is brave, hardworking, smart, resourceful, dexterous, neat, thinking, loved, needed, irreplaceable...
- More often, let your child do what he wants, not you.
- Give your child a break from your suggestions. He needs some freedom to grow up independent.
- Praise and encourage your child often. Adults often do not notice something good, but immediately react to mistakes and misdeeds.
- Believe in your child!
- Give more independence in household chores, assign mandatory housework, and ask for it to be done as an adult.
- Build positive self-esteem: “I am smart,” “I am brave,” “I can do anything.”
- Love your child for free! Be his friend!
- Talk through the situation: if there are quarrels, how should we get out of them (don’t be silent, don’t sit in corners, don’t be offended).
- Do not immediately react sharply to protest or be rude.
- Maintain the same eye level with your child when communicating (talk and interact without running or standing).
- Don't read morals. When you read them, you want to close your ears.
- Remember suggestibility (words - thoughts).
Constantly find the bright sides of your child’s character, and hope for the future will appear. Eliminate control for a while, close your eyes to the disorder, change your attitude towards rudeness - at first there will be an aggravation, but you must persevere, this is a test for parents, and you must work on yourself first of all.
Remember the impact of the nature of the relationship with parents on the child's self-esteem. Behavioral disorder is a healthy reaction of a child’s sensitive psyche to painful circumstances; it is a signal - “I feel bad, help!” The child must be sure that in you he has not a judge, but an assistant who understands him. And without you, there will be enough people who will evaluate it one way or another.
Forgive failures, be patient, fair, attentive. Work on yourself. It is very important to praise and hug your child first thing in the morning. This is an advance for the whole long and difficult day!
Have faith and patience, and you will succeed!
Good luck!
MOSCOW, November 20 – RIA Novosti. About half of Russian students do not want to go to school because they dislike the teacher, Alexander Kuznetsov, president of the Association of Child Psychologists and Psychiatrists of Russia, told RIA Novosti. What difficulties schoolchildren face, how to restore the child’s motivation to learn and instill independence, experts told RIA Novosti on the eve of Children’s Day, which is celebrated on November 20.
Mom, is the weekend coming soon?
The mother of a second-grader, a student at a secondary school near Moscow, Maria Rempel did not expect that her eight-year-old son Mark might have problems with his studies. She herself was an excellent student at school, but Mark cannot yet boast of such success. The boy graduated from the first quarter of the second academic year with one C in Russian.
“He doesn’t like school so much that every day he asks me when the weekend will be,” Rempel told RIA Novosti.
According to the parent, her son has no desire to study because the school teacher could not interest him. “We used to come to school to learn, but now we come to show what we learned at home with our parents,” she said.
In addition, according to Rempel, school textbooks contain many complex and strange tasks that not even every adult can solve. “And the parents of a second-grader have to solve problems with collective wisdom on special forums on the Internet or by phone,” Rempel noted. As a result, it turns out that it is not the children who are more concerned about doing homework, but the parents themselves.
Study, study, study
The reluctance of a child of any age to go to school is self-defense from a heavy load, says Russian language and literature teacher, Honored Teacher of the Russian Federation Inna Golenok.
“It turns out that the child is uncomfortable, uncomfortable with what he doesn’t do, and when he starts doing everything, he also feels uncomfortable because he gets tired,” she explained.
Golenok noted that teachers' workload, due to deficiencies in basic planning, is projected onto students. “The program is designed in such a way that sometimes one hour a week is allocated to a subject. But according to all psychological rules, there shouldn’t be one hour a week at all: knowledge is not consolidated, there is no repetition, hence the heavy workload,” says the teacher.
Director of Physics and Mathematics Lyceum N 239 in St. Petersburg, winner of the All-Russian competition "School Director-2012" Maxim Pratusevich agrees that the curriculum for modern schoolchildren is not easy. At the same time, he considers laziness to be the main reason for his reluctance to study at school.
“You have little time and you need to work, but working today is not very common. Children are not accustomed to work. They say that studying must be fun in order to study well, but this is not so. Studying is hard work. We study for life, but in life you have to work hard, be able to do it,” Pratusevich said.
What do they teach at school?
Child psychologists are confident that the first teacher plays a key role in a child’s attitude towards school, who must motivate the child to study. The President of the Association of Child Psychologists and Psychiatrists, Alexander Kuznetsov, told RIA Novosti that schools in Russia have always lacked an individual approach to each student.
“The school is focused on the average student, so there can be no talk of any individuality. It has been proven that strong students descend to the average level after two or three classes,” Kuznetsov said.
According to him, often a child does not want to go to school precisely because he does not like his teacher. Or a child goes to school not for knowledge, but simply to socialize and show off in front of his peers. “We don’t like a subject for which we don’t like the teacher. From our practice, approximately 50% of children in elementary school, when asked about the teacher, answer that they don’t like the teacher,” the psychologist noted.
According to Kuznetsov, if parents want their child not to have problems learning at school, they must preserve the main thing - the child’s motivation to learn. “And not due to the fact that studying is work, this is great stupidity, but on the contrary, explaining that studying is always interesting. We need to look for ways not to kill the child’s natural curiosity for knowledge,” he noted.
The right help
The psychologist gave some practical advice to parents who cannot force their child to study at school. First of all, parents should find out whether the child likes the teacher. “If your child doesn’t like the teacher, change the teacher. This could be a teacher at a neighboring school. You shouldn’t become attached to the school just because it’s closest to your home,” recommends Kuznetsov.
If you cannot find a good teacher, you can transfer your child to home schooling. “According to the new law on education, this can be done very simply: you come to school, write an application and that’s it. Then you just need to take tests,” explained the psychologist, noting that his children, for example, have long been studying the school curriculum at home.
Homeschooling saves a lot of time and fosters independence in the child. “If a child can read, he can study the topic on his own. If he has a question, he can ask his parents or watch numerous video tutorials on the Internet,” Kuznetsov said.
Another tip is to give your child prizes so that he is motivated to complete his homework on his own. For example, children can earn the right to engage with educational apps on a tablet for twenty minutes after 8 p.m. Subsequently, the child will get used to a certain course of events, to a ritual, and will begin to do his homework on his own.
“Parents don’t understand how they can help their child do their homework. They can’t get their child to look away from the computer and spend five hours doing homework for them. As a result, the child gets used to it and says: “Mom, it’s late, but could you do it for me?” do physics?!" The child develops such an attitude that my mother will still not let me go until I finish my homework, and since she also needs to go to bed, she will eventually do everything for me, I just need to be more stupid and do less ", Kuznetsov explained.
The psychologist noted that approximately 20% of children have attention deficit disorder. “Therefore, one more piece of advice: children need to be taught to relax and break complex tasks into small ones. So that the child does not feel like he is sitting at homework until he is blue in the face,” he said. To control the time of work and rest, you can use a cooking timer or an hourglass.
In the early grades, it is imperative to teach your child to read. “By instilling a love of reading, you will insure yourself against most problems in education,” says the psychologist. The easiest way to teach your child to love books is to show interest in what your child reads aloud to you. “We usually have very little time to listen to a child. When you listen to a child, he really likes to read to an adult, especially if the adult is sincerely interested,” added Kuznetsov.
Sometimes it is important to buy textbooks for the previous grade and conduct diagnostics and determine the level at which the child copes “excellently”. “And tell the child: that’s it, at home we start learning from this level. We need to catch up with the program so that the person gets on solid ground and feels confident in the class,” said the psychologist.
But the most important rule that parents should remember is to never tell a child that he is stupid, and do not get annoyed if he does not understand something. “If you are irritated, it means you are setting high goals. Go lower. And be sure to encourage the child’s independence,” concluded Kuznetsov.
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